Growing up, I always heard the saying cleanliness is close to Godliness. I always thought that was my mother’s way of getting me and my siblings to clean the house and yard every day. Keeping the place so clean that all will be right in the universe. As I grew older, I realised I should apply this to every aspect of my life. Keeping my body clean so I would obtain my weight goal plus I would have the stamina to do all the activities I want to do. Keeping my soul clean; this meant getting rid of all of the burdens that kept me stuck for so long. Keeping my mind clean; realising my worth and fullest potential so that the world can experience my greatness.
As mentioned in a previous blog, I had lots of regrets growing up. These regrets stemmed from allowing fear to be the final “person” in the decision-making process. So many missed opportunities because I allowed myself to be caught up in the belief I wasn’t significant enough. There were some times I couldn’t help it; I heard so many negative things said that it became ingrained within me. Sometimes no matter how good nature is if the nurture is toxic, it still affects a child’s psyche. Having all these thoughts did weigh me down to the point where I would feel so heavy but couldn’t pinpoint the problem.
I always wondered when was it going to be my turn because I felt that I was putting in the effort but getting no results. In retrospect, I realised that I was producing the energy based on my belief system but not my capabilities. I conjured negativity into the world with my thoughts and words. I never knew I was the one holding myself back. I wish I had known to be kind to myself to reach my potential and believe in my myself to foster the growth I needed. One thing I wished for growing up was a mentor. Talking to someone about your life’s plan is essential; having conversations about future goals, life, fears, insecurities, etc. take the pressure off and help you realise you are enough. Speaking out is one way to conquer fears, which is one of the critical steps to becoming your highest self.
Although I wish I had a chance to change many things, I am glad my life took this course. I learnt a lot of things along the way and met people who have forced me to be openminded. I truly understand how life keeps presenting us with challenges until we learn our lesson. Instead of blaming myself for taking so long to figure it out, I thank myself for having the opportunity to find myself.