Check Your [insert] Friends Too

I keep seeing memes about “check on your [insert] friends too” It is a good concept because it allows persons to think about someone they should check-in with but haven’t for whatever reason. It holds some level of accountability and shows us that we should be interdependent. When you do a check-in, how is it done? Is it through texting, calling, watching their social media account or planning a meet up (not during this time, but you get the idea)? On a scale of “putting in the minimal effort” to “I care enough”; I would say watching their social media account, texting, calling (includes video chat) and planning to meet up.

  • Watching a person’s account is good because you can get clues that help when taking further action, but if you are just scrolling past, then, it’s not worth it.
  • Texting is helping because you are making some effort. Try shying away from asking the cliche questions. If you are close with that person, then ask questions that convey you are listening. It’s hard at first, but practice makes perfect.
  • Moving on to calling: This is the best thing for when distance is an issue. You can get a lot from someone’s tone even when they use a different octave. Also, it’s worth taking it a step further to video call. There are so many ways to accomplish this, and it is comforting for the person on the other end.
  • Meeting up seems the best way as you connect on different levels and you also observe things which aren’t noticeable during a phone call. Plus, it’s always good to make new memories for the next social media story.

With all this; I feel I need to ask, how well do you know your friends? There have been so many cases of celebrity suicides and one common pattern is that their friends said that they looked happy or they seemed “normal”. Stars are paid to portray different personas; trying to be happy was one more thing to add to the list. Now let’s move a little closer to home. What about people in your community? What about those who haven’t perfected the art of masking their feelings or mannerisms? I’ve heard cases of people committing suicide, and people said they didn’t appear any different. If the right questions were asked, maybe red flags would be more visible. It’s always good to remember that people have different ways of expressing themselves when talking is difficult.

I’ve had cases where I felt sad, would get messages. I would say I’m ok, ask them the same, and that would be the end of the conversation. There would be no follow up question or response that showed a level of interest. It made things a bit more depressing, and I ended up asking myself if the original text was needed. Another example was when I posted a picture on Instagram. It was different from what I usually posted, but in the caption, I stated how I flooded your timeline to distract myself from my anxiety. Out of all the comments and likes, only two people went the extra step to offer some advice. Some of you might think, why post there? Instagram is not that kind of place.

For those who think that, let me remind you that people express their anxiety or fears in different ways. I, personally, am not comfortable with speaking about my issues, so I find various outlets; I write, pray or cry, but I find an outlet. Other people may post videos, post memes, or go silent. There isn’t one way to ask for help, so there shouldn’t be one method in reaching out.

Everyone is busy, but that shouldn’t be a reason to neglect your responsibility to care for your tribe members. Humans beings, like other species, are social creatures and should show empathy to others. At this time in our lives, we encounter so many things vying for our attention, but, we need to make an effort to prioritise the essentials. At any point, there can be a change in our circumstances. Don’t put off what you can do today and don’t downplay your impact on the world. Be kind to others; message, be observant and invest in the conversation. It may seem simple, but it goes a long way.

Beatus Manifestationes,
Nomadic Free Spirit

Spring Cleaning

There are so many times I wanted to be deeply honest and share everything, but I held back because I knew a few people who followed the blog. It’s weird, but I feel more comfortable revealing myself to strangers than the people I know. It’s a bizarre concept, but I realised it stemmed from my childhood. I never trusted many people because I was disappointed regularly. Growing up with constant disappointments set my expectation low, and in turn, would eagerly believe anyone who appeared genuine even when that wasn’t the case. I found myself in a continuous cycle of trust, disappointment, repeat:

  • Why was it so easy to trust?
  • Did I long for someone to protect me?
  • Was I incredibly naive?
  • Did I just choose to see the good in people?

I also realised I shy away from opening up because I fear getting ridiculed to the point where my spirits would be broken, and I would just stop writing altogether. Hard to believe that even at my age, I still get overwhelmed with insecurities; one thing that is different now is that I try to focus on the people that would commend me for speaking out. I think it’s time to make the positive encounters paramount because I’m already bombarded with so many pollutants.

Being at home has forced me to be more honest with myself, so I will continue to give me.

Beatus Manifestationes,
Nomadic Free Spirit🦋 🦉

I think It’s Time (The Epilogue to The Act of Calling out)

I usually write about whatever pops into my head. There is an element of randomness I appreciate; I think it’s because I’m so spontaneous. About a week ago, I posted “I think it’s time” because it felt right. Then after posting “the art of calling out” I thought that I should repost “I think it’s time” cause it tied together so well.

I mentioned that I don’t call out people that much. However, there are times when someone you love is doing the most and slapping the stupidity out of them will get you arrested. So, you have to try a less physical approach.

I think we need to set the scene a bit. PS: The name in this post is fictitious, any stories in real life which bare any similarity is purely coincidently.

Yasmin has been in a situationship with a guy for ages. She makes promises to stop seeing him, but there is something that keeps luring her back (maybe the…). He never really cares until Yasmin is talking to other guys. She has ended so many potential relationships because she thinks he is serious this time. It lasts for a few weeks, and it’s the same drama again. Every time he breaks her heart, she gets sick because it stresses her out. I’ve spoken to her before, but she doesn’t listen. She is beginning to lose friendships because she thinks people don’t want to see her happy.

I love you, so I KNOW you need to hear this:
I’m tired of giving you too much of myself with no appreciation.
I’m tired of having to constantly listen to you without you acknowledging the impact of your negativity.
There comes a time in life when you need to realise that your choices affect people in your radius.
Your naivety is restricting access to your common sense.
I know you know better cause I’ve seen you accomplish goals before.
I pray that you break free from the shackles of the generational curses.
You need to understand the correlation between the energy you attract and the negativity you encounter.
I try to be there for you without thought, but you are draining me.
I can feel your discord from the time I pick my phone.
I know you are lonely, but you can never be alone after you’ve made peace with yourself.
It’s not that hard if you make an effort, but you need at try.
It’s not me; it’s you. Until you realise it’s you, you’ll always consider yourself to be Atlas.

Pax et Felicitatem,
Nomadic Mind Wanderer