There are so many times I wanted to be deeply honest and share everything, but I held back because I knew a few people who followed the blog. It’s weird, but I feel more comfortable revealing myself to strangers than the people I know. It’s a bizarre concept, but I realised it stemmed from my childhood. I never trusted many people because I was disappointed regularly. Growing up with constant disappointments set my expectation low, and in turn, would eagerly believe anyone who appeared genuine even when that wasn’t the case. I found myself in a continuous cycle of trust, disappointment, repeat:
Why was it so easy to trust?
Did I long for someone to protect me?
Was I incredibly naive?
Did I just choose to see the good in people?
I also realised I shy away from opening up because I fear getting ridiculed to the point where my spirits would be broken, and I would just stop writing altogether. Hard to believe that even at my age, I still get overwhelmed with insecurities; one thing that is different now is that I try to focus on the people that would commend me for speaking out. I think it’s time to make the positive encounters paramount because I’m already bombarded with so many pollutants.
Being at home has forced me to be more honest with myself, so I will continue to give me.
You are gifted with so many talents, it’s time you are believing in that power so that you can do the things you were destined to do! It’s your time, the universe is waiting for you to unleash all that amazingness.
Sun-kissed: Melanated people literally need the sun to survive! Like plants, we are able to absorb sunlight for various biochemical reactions in the body. So ensure you get your daily dosage to maintain your awesomeness!
…In Grenada, I reconnected with my father, got the chance to do some significant reflections; which made me learn a lot more about myself, and I finally decided what I wanted to do career wise. After returning from Grenada, I started looking at masters or PhD programmes. I found this school and I knew that it was the school for me (its logo was an owl, I’ll expand in a later post), and coincidently I found a job in analytical chemistry that was 10mins away from where I lived. I applied to both, and I got accepted. Starting school was a bit more complicated as it was impossible to self-fund, but at the 11.9999th hour, things worked out, and I was able to start. During my panic mode for my masters, I started this blog!
I was scared to leave my job but was excited to start this new journey; when I started, it felt like the right decision, and I would be challenged. School felt the same way as well; however, I had a mass panic attack because I had a moment of doubt in myself. Lucky, I spoke to persons, and I felt better about the situation. This made me vow to be consistent with my assignments and review weekly; I stuck to my promise and did great in the first term(kudos to me)! Being at the school also allowed me the opportunity to partake in a workshop geared to helping persons with business ideas (for free).
During this year:
I’ve met some fantastic people who called me out for enabling some shit;
I realised that I should be around people/things that brought me joy. As a result, some interactions ended as quickly as it started;
I realised that Christmas isn’t my thing so for upcoming years I would prefer to volunteer somewhere than getting fat during a meal;
I will make more time for the people that are important to me;
I’m way too talented to settle for any mediocrity in any aspect of my life.
The year brought about a shift from desiring the things I wanted most in my life to receiving them and made me proud to be my quirky self. I was brave enough to accomplish a lot and committed enough to keep working to maintain that standard. I am ready for what 2020 has to offer, and I am genuinely prepared to accept the greatness I am meant to accomplish.
We encounter so many signs and we ignore them or label it as ‘deja vu’. Have you ever thought about the significance of these occurrences? These signs/symbols come into our lives to direct us on to our intended path. We become so distracted by all the glamour of this world that we forget our link to the universe. We are meant to experience things with full authenticity but being honest with ourselves has become a foreign notion.
We are blessed with so much intelligence, yet we are contented with being told how to experience life. Choose creativity every time you are faced with an option and you will find yourself. It’s ok to get to know yourself, It’s ok to unleash your potential. It’s ok to be great; the world needs more magic. So next time you see a symbol that resonates with you, take it as a sign for you to do more.
“Never forget that intelligence rules the world and ignorance carries the burden. Therefore, remove yourself as far from ignorance as possible and seek as far as possible to be intelligent.” – Marcus Garvey