I made it a goal to learn something new every day, and I have committed to continuing this goal. I had learned things that brought me joy, sadness, disgust, bewilderment; so many emotions I discovered when I took the step to leave my comfort zone. I always hear that ignorance is bliss, but I always say that it is dangerous. How is it blissful to not feed your mind and continue living without the knowledge that is produced daily for us. The world is rapidly growing, how can people not want to be apart of that community. It is not wrong to learn; you were designed to function that way. There is a shift from learning for physical survival to mental survival. Take the time to acquire a new piece of information to grow your mind; you’ll be glad you did.
There are so many times I wanted to be deeply honest and share everything, but I held back because I knew a few people who followed the blog. It’s weird, but I feel more comfortable revealing myself to strangers than the people I know. It’s a bizarre concept, but I realised it stemmed from my childhood. I never trusted many people because I was disappointed regularly. Growing up with constant disappointments set my expectation low, and in turn, would eagerly believe anyone who appeared genuine even when that wasn’t the case. I found myself in a continuous cycle of trust, disappointment, repeat:
Why was it so easy to trust?
Did I long for someone to protect me?
Was I incredibly naive?
Did I just choose to see the good in people?
I also realised I shy away from opening up because I fear getting ridiculed to the point where my spirits would be broken, and I would just stop writing altogether. Hard to believe that even at my age, I still get overwhelmed with insecurities; one thing that is different now is that I try to focus on the people that would commend me for speaking out. I think it’s time to make the positive encounters paramount because I’m already bombarded with so many pollutants.
Being at home has forced me to be more honest with myself, so I will continue to give me.
Letting go used to be so hard for me because I was petrified of what was coming my way. Taking the time to figure that out helped me to embrace all the unexpected encounters wholeheartedly. I’m no longer scared to let you go; I’m open to the new possibilities that will present itself to me. I’m ready for all the beautiful souls I will cross paths with to help me expand my thinking, the experiences that will aid in my growth to my best self.
You gave me lots and kept me busy. I’m grateful for all the experiences; the people I met, the conversations I had, the ability to wake up and face each day with hope and lack of monotony. I’m grateful for the push to start this blog and all the persons who supported me through reading the post and giving feedback. I’m thankful for reminding me that I have an ambitious spirit and continuously pushed me out of my comfort zones.
It’s been real, and thanks for everything! Even though I won’t see you again, you will always be apart of me!