Down the Rabbit Hole

Photo by Filipe Delgado

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It’s been a while since I’ve posted a poem even though I am still continuing with the poetry challenge. Here is the last poem I’ve posted:
http://nmwblog.com/2020/02/04/my-poetry-challenge/

So Here goes…

Down the rabbit hole, I go, further away from my sense of normal
my sense of adventure pushes me down also, but my fear pulls me back
I’m being torn between two worlds, and it’s so confusing
I have been told that no one can serve two masters and I see that now
I want to serve the master of mystery, but I’m tethered to my fears and insecurities
I want to let go, but the temptation of normalcy intrigues me
The desire to reminisce on the simpler times distracts me from continuing
There is no reason for me to go back now as my mind has slowly metamorphosised
I will no longer be able to experience the bliss of ignorance fully
I will no longer be comfortable just existing
I’ve asked for these things and been refusing to accept them because it doesn’t follow the path I want
I need to realise that the level of confusion is bearable and I need to face the truth to obtain clarity
Now faced with the choice; do I fully immerse myself in the truth or be aware of tidbits?
I am stuck between choosing
I’m stuck between existences as my life has revolved around this theme recently
I am the only one that can decide
I have made decisions before, but somehow I’m stuck
I need to analyse all aspects so that I can continue with my life.

Beatus Manifestationes,
Nomadic Free Spirit

You Are What You Call Yourself

I have this friend that continually calls me a girl even though I remind them that I don’t identify with that word. They didn’t seem to understand the idea behind it, but I felt the need to explain my stance to prevent any further confusion. So the story goes like this:

“I made a conscious effort not to refer to myself as a girl anymore under any circumstances. Most people thought it was weird, but I connected the word girl with childish and finite things, and I didn’t want to associate myself with that any longer. I associated woman with growth, success, etc. and thus wanted to attract all these things, plus more, into my life.

When I made the transition from girl to woman, I had this metaphysical change. I was more willing to embrace changes as well as accomplish the goals I set out for myself. My poise changed and I became more graceful. You may not think that this was the only reason, but it was indeed the first flap in the butterfly effect. I am glad I made this decision!”

In life, you need to do what is best for you, and this was a great win for me.

Beatus Manifestationes,
Nomadic Mind Wanderer