Down the rabbit hole, I go, further away from my sense of normal my sense of adventure pushes me down also, but my fear pulls me back I’m being torn between two worlds, and it’s so confusing I have been told that no one can serve two masters and I see that now I want to serve the master of mystery, but I’m tethered to my fears and insecurities I want to let go, but the temptation of normalcy intrigues me The desire to reminisce on the simpler times distracts me from continuing There is no reason for me to go back now as my mind has slowly metamorphosised I will no longer be able to experience the bliss of ignorance fully I will no longer be comfortable just existing I’ve asked for these things and been refusing to accept them because it doesn’t follow the path I want I need to realise that the level of confusion is bearable and I need to face the truth to obtain clarity Now faced with the choice; do I fully immerse myself in the truth or be aware of tidbits? I am stuck between choosing I’m stuck between existences as my life has revolved around this theme recently I am the only one that can decide I have made decisions before, but somehow I’m stuck I need to analyse all aspects so that I can continue with my life.
At the beginning of the year, I made a vow that I would take the time to “go off the grid” to reset and realign focus on the things that are important to me. I heard of this idea when I went to a workshop last year. “It sparked creativity,” she said, and it was able to propel her in the personal and professional aspects of her life. I felt I needed to do that because I haven’t been able to write a poem in ages, and I felt shattered. All I was doing was writing for the blog, and I wanted to go back to the point where I was a creative on all levels. I did try “trials and error” days where I disconnected for a few hours, and I felt the difference. So this time I would do an entire day.
I turned off my computer, my phone and all other electronic devices (aside from my fridge). This was hard as I live in a(n) flat (apartment) that is electric. After I switched off everything, I could already feel the difference. My body was free from the electromagnetic wave, and I could begin the process of reflective and intentive meditation. I opened the windows, closed my eyes and allowed my sensory experience to commence.
It was so refreshing to consume so much of what nature had to offer. This left my brain so clear that the words were ready to be put down on paper. I would write and let the words flow; when I read it, it was as if these words were handpicked to be shared. I alternated between meditating and writing; I also created tasks for myself with deadlines and made affirmations to be said daily. After this day, I decided to make this at least a monthly thing. You should try this for it will change your life!
Eternal respect goes out to Maya Angelou for embodying her wisdom in her poem “Still I Rise” This poem is the testament for all melanated people around the world who keep thriving regardless of all the discrimination we face. Cheers to you and your ability to keep going, WE. GOT. THIS!!!
As part of my theme this year, I wanted to push myself towards writing more poetry. I convinced my friend that we should do a writing challenge; we would alternate picking themes for the month, write at least three poems and send them as voice notes or messages to each other. My friend agreed, and we went on our 2020 journey. The theme for January was “Having the Strength to Let Go,” decided by yours truly!
At the end of January; we exchanged and listened/read. I was in awe by our creativity and amazingness. I would say I’m a good poet, but my friend is an amazingly creative being. Every time I read her poems, I’m intrigued by her use of words to convey her emotion! She is truly my poetry twin aside from being one of my closest friends! We continue to inspire and motive each other when it comes to writing, and without her motivation, I wouldn’t be able to share this poem:
For the Love of Happiness
She wakes up, and I bleed I don’t understand why she allows me to do this She forces herself to wake up to succumb to the mental enslavement, wake up to repeat the same tasks as yesterday in the name of a job Brain says she needs this entrapment for survival, but I disagree For all the times we have argued, this has been the worst; a body divided, a dream destroyed I feel weaker each day; Heart cracks and the butterflies which once occupied the stomach turned into shards wounding her from the inside. I was on the attack to gain as many supports to defeat Brain He thought it was a good thing for one reason; it was a job, and that job was the reason we were able to live It was a valid point, but it was just one. That point reiterated as if it was the only job for her I sensed that this reason was laced with fear, for whenever I spoke about the topic, I felt attacked. I persisted. I fought. I won. I fought logic with logic. I offered solutions, and it was agreed upon. I got to be happy again, Brain felt a new form of security, and she was able to move on from a place she outgrew months ago.
The Theme for February is “The Comeback,” if you want to join us!